Me, · Myself · and · Ire

This makes no sense to me, but apparently it does to some parents.


Looking for the perfect athlete?


Let your children choose what they want to play, even if they might not be the next superstar. In other words, let them have fun and be a kid.

Tradition, determination, unbelievable skills, love of the game and desire to completely destroy the enemy and win no matter what: the marks of a truly great rivalry.
I love this game.

Picture in your mind....

A 1980's SAAB (the lemon shaped car) colored bright orange with silver lightning bolts running the length of the car, dropped low with super super tinted windows(almost black) and orange and black rims and something that looked like the black bars on the fronts of police cars on the front of this and black highlights around the headlights...

Parked by the supermarket... crazy pimpin' man.

To all you Leos and some Virgos - since I'm going to be really busy the next month or two, plus I suck at remembering birthdays, here you go!








Happy Birthday






Enjoy and have a happy!

This is why I hate hospitals...

http://www.slate.com/id/2195851/

and the dr and nurse talking over you like you aren't even there, that's always fun. or the bitchy nurses who say you're faking and to knock it off - sister heard that and went after her sup like a pit bull kicking ass and taking names, yes she did take names.

oh and the dr that wants to know why he has to stay later than his shift "Notes say you had a seizure, but why are you really here?" because it's company policy to stick you on an ambulance so they can't get sued even if you don't want to get on the fucking thing.

Loathe them with a lots and lots of loathing if this is true everywhere.

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(they're coming to get you Barbara...)

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Is there any reason, other than morons who have no respect for others, to rip down and shred campaign signs in a person's front lawn?

We had (note "had") one for selectman, of which there are two positions open, and it was knocked down (second time that happened) ripped up and the pieces spread across the lawn. And it wasn't the only sign for this same candidate that received similar treatment: some just have large tears in them or have been knocked down several times.

And another candidate for another open position has received the same treatment with their campaign signs.

I can't believe people would act so childish, or maybe install such a hatred for them that their kids help out in tearing them up. Adults, HS students sneaking out after curfew or those over 18 are the people I can think might have done this, since the signs were okay when I went to bed around 12am.

Although you may disagree with someone, you should respect their choice, and agree to disagree. Or just stay the f**k away from them, which ever works for you. Just grow the f**ck up.

EDIT: forgot to mention no pissing on the signs either, though it would make me laugh if you didn't pull the sign out of the ground first and indirectly pee all over yourself as it bounced off and right back at you.

Mother Nature... seriously, this is getting a little much. Rain that shows up as SNOW?!? First yesterday all frigging day,occasionally mixed with freezing rain and now today it was sunny and now there are snowflakes on and off, more on than off.
One word - SPRING. Please let this be the last of the snow. seriously. you know who this is by now.

Dear Mother Nature,

If the current forecast is right, then I am begging you to knock it off. The next week to ten days have about three days of sun but do have snow or rain showers in the beginning of the day or at night.
I am hoping you are planning a long period of no rain or snow or other wet stuff for this area, which would help me get the wardrobe out of the house for someone else to love. They can take the tarp that's going under it too - just because I counted yesterday and we have a total of 8 gigantic tarps and we really don't need that many. But the sunshiney days with no rain - about 4 or 5 would be fine - are needed to bring it outside to show and pass on the love.
Anyway, hope you are gearing up to bring some Spring like weather to the North, windy and 50's is fine.

ps - the April Fool's Day blizzard shouldn't be a repeat. Maybe Memorial Day? Just a suggestion...

Dear Mother Nature,
I am a humble New Englander who is currently wishing to celebrate the coming of Spring, which to many means to slight warming of temperature and no more wintery weather. Don't misunderstand me; I know you like to keep us on our toes, like the April Fool's Day Blizzard (which threw the MBTA for a loop once the snow melted and shut down 4 stations on the Green Line and others on the Red, Blue and Orange Lines, thus requiring busing while those stations were cleaned out) and early Springs that started the thawing then suddenly turned freezing cold for another month - btw that was (no sarcasm here) really fun, having the entire back yard a personal ice rink.
At any rate, the warming isn't happening, and this continuous wet snowy stuff isn't helping with my spring cleaning. There is this large, aging and too big for anywhere wardrobe I'd like to put out on the corner for someone to take; if you noticed last year it took about 10 minutes for that particle board shelf/dresser to go, and this is a better looking piece. Unfortunately, the on and off rain you have been giving us has thwarted this attempt, since I am not 100% sure it will be picked up within the 2-3 days grace period of dryness before it rains.
If you could, just for 5 days, have nothing but sunshine I would be most appreciative. Feel free to keep it as cold as you like, but the 5 sunshiney days would probably be more than enough time for someone to pick it up and take it into their home... or realize they no longer want it after picking it up, making it their problem.
Thank you very much.

It is seriously lacking when bike pedals are not packed with the bike, and the quality control dept certifies all parts are there.

Tards...

I got this from my sister, who sends me some good stuff, along with a few really crappy ones. But this one is the best I've gotten in some time. It says this is an actual letter but I have my doubts. Enjoy.
--------------------


This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company
Proctor and Gamble's product manager regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph... PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter....


Dear Mr. Thatcher:

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or
Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse?' I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo.' Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior.

You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last
week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's
testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought
Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.

Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to
the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so
painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an "Always" maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you fu**ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness is possible during a menstrual period?

Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?

FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a
moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong' or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,
there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my
maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh*t. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

Hope you enjoyed... I did. Even if it was bullsh*t.

what the hell....

why is it whenever there is any sort of precipitation people are smacked with the retardeds, lose any common sense and the ability to drive?

like the guy who is driving at least 40mph and leans on the horn when he has to stop for a school bus.

or the woman in the larger than actually necessary SUV talking on the phone, not looking in front of her and swerving over a steep hill. (I'm of the opinion if you want to buy an SUV you must pass a test to operate one, what size limit you are allowed to operate to prevent being that dumb ass who cannot drive one without almost taking every other car in the process. I would fail miserably, but then again I don't want one.)

and the overly cautious drivers who drive 15 miles under the speed limit... (though there are times this is necessary as in during a blizzard)

these are the days I wish transporter technology was a reality...

(xposted from myspace)

Presenting the Ryugyong Hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea.



The story of this monstrosity

Tomorrow I am going to be hard wired. In other words a mobile EEG, about 16 to 24 electrodes glued to my head for the new doctor since the other one decided to split to Michigan.

In any case, I've got a cartilage piercing in my upper left ear which I fesar they might have me take out. And my question is about how long will it take for those to close up? I've had this since I was 18-19 years old (which is a long time ago) and really don't want to lose it.

Any insight on this would be greatly appreciated. The others on my lower ear I can redo myself if necessary, but the upper one concerns me since there is only so much pain I can stand.

Help please?

Track 15... :)

1. Go to the Wikipedia home page and click random article. That is your band's name.
2. Click random article again; that is your album name.
3. Click random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your album.

Band's name: Hurlingham Polo Association
Album name: International Japanese-English Translation Conference

Track 1: Rope (disambiguation)
Track 2: Copyright
Track 3: Jiang Li,Li Jiang
Track 4: Marriott's Way
Track 5: Peitz
Track 6: Norman Abrams
Track 7: Idi
Track 8: Rana scutigera
Track 9: The Benders
Track 10: Mettlach
Track 11: Stammheim Prison
Track 12: Abu Dhabi Investment Authority
Track 13: Texas Legislative Medal of Honor
Track 14: Leiostyla corneocostata
Track 15: Bitch Wars

If a Town Hall building was built in 1870 - has the little plaque on it from the Historical Society and all - do you think the builders were planning for 20 heavy duty file cabinets weighing 1,100 lbs each (more when full) and a mobile safe which is a little weighty to be inside?
I'm thinking not. And I'm also thinking that 14 of those big guys on the 2nd floor plus the safe and the other 6 on the first floor are a big contribution to the Town Hall is now considered "structurally unsound".
That and the governing body (board of selectmen) and the town manager didn't approve repairs for a few years, which is another factor. Can't wait to see if they are going to fix the building or let it rot away and make "sound" (sarcasm)arguments for the nth time why another historical building should be redone (at the town residents expense) to fit (insert name of company here who currently wants it) needs so the town can tear down that company's existing structure and build a new Town Hall. Did I mention residents would be stuck with an increase in property taxes for this?
Cheaper solution - town offices suck it up operate in their current location, fix the building and maybe (since there is an obscene amount of town land behind the building) add another area built just to store and support those weighty file cabinets for a long long long time: this would include the addition of at least another 20 cabinets. And this solution (reported in the Lowell Sun and confirmed by another source) would just oddly enough fit in the current budget and slightly tap into the $750,000 surplus recently "found" - our town manager seemingly can't manage money.
But that solution makes sense, so it probably won't happen. Probably something that will warrant an override and won't happen until nothing is done and the problems only get worse.
People are just so dumb.